bunsen:

scrolling through ur old facebook statuses like

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vagiants:

Me: *before I take my first bite*

Mom: is it good?

baby: m... m...
mom: mama?
baby: mama...
mom: thank god it's not that meme
baby: just killed a man

the-super-scout:

helioscentrifuge:

runtime-err0r:

itsvondell:

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then

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yeah wow that’s spot on perfect

my catchphrase

crunchier:

mom: so hun i was in your room

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and i accidentally started going through your stuff

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and i found your phone

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it was unlocked so i went through your messages too, who’s alex? is that your boyfriend? you can totally talk to me about crushes and boys!!!

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fwips:

/SCREAM/ MY GRANDPA JUST MADE ME A REPLACEMENT COMPUTER CHARGER TO USE TILL THE NEW ONE GETS HERE

LOOK AT IT

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HE LITERALLY MADE MY COMPUTER A HEART/LIFE SUPPORT OUT OF A PILE OF SCRAPS MY GRANDPA IS TONY STARK

mexi-cant:

Does it trip anyone else out that “G” is just an arrow going in a circle?